Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You may now shotgun with the bride
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
