pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
