there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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