just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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