I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
