Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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