I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
