I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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