this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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