i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
