I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
