Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
