There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
