the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh god it's open bar.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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