I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
