people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize