those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
