When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
