what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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