On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
