So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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