so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
