had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
