so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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