I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
