It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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