The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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