just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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