The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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