this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
