Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize