i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
