i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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