Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
