So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
