The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
