just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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