Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
