So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
