that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
