we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
