I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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