so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
