end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
