I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
