Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
