i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
