Non-Jews are for practice
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize