i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
