How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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