Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
