Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
