you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
