lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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