Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
