I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
