Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
