summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
