I think I am morally bankrupt
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
