Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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