i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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