I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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