you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have tasted many bathrooms
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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