weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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