I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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