The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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