He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
