whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
