why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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