U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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