He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
