Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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