My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
